Hickory Algorithm Newsletter
pulling from a different frequency
Leadership: Being a Leader Is Never Saying You Are the Leader
by: Chris Goldby ∣ Hickory Algorithm
I was at Maiden High School, like I am every week, for Strong Student Leadership. I’m the facilitator there, joined by two other volunteers who show up with me every single week.
When the bell rang for our time to end the students started filing out, one student approached me and said,
“Mr. Chris, can I ask you a favor?”
He asked if I could give him a quote about leadership.
I didn’t know if it was for a class, a paper, or maybe something just for himself. But I remember being that age — 17 — and how much mental prep it took to walk up to an adult and ask for something. So I wanted to give him something that would matter.
I asked, “Do you want a quote that inspires me, or do you want a quote from me?”
He smiled and said, “From you. What’s a quote about leadership from you?”
I grabbed a piece of paper and quickly wrote down what came to mind. I handed it to him and said,
“Being a leader is never saying you are the leader.”
That was Monday morning. As the week rolled on, every day felt like a grind. An uphill battle to say the least. You ever have one of those weeks where each day you think, “Man, that was rough,” and then the next day… it’s the same?
By Thursday, I caught myself wondering why everything just felt heavy. And then, sitting at my desk trying to write this very newsletter, I thought back to that moment in Maiden High School.
That 20-second interaction.
That quote.
And the more I thought about it, the more I liked it.
Not because it’s catchy. Not because it sounds profound. But because I believe it.
If you have to tell people you’re the leader, are you really leading?
I get asked all the time about our networking group, Members Only.
People say, “That’s your group, right Chris?”
And my response is always the same:
“No, no, no — it’s our group.”
I’ve met people this week alone who have the word Leader in their job title. What?! And don’t even get me started on the “YouTube leaders” — the ones who call themselves coaches, experts, or influencers before they’ve actually led anyone.
Real leadership is quiet. It doesn’t need to announce itself.
It’s inside you. You can call on it when you’re in need.
I believe leadership is a muscle — and like every muscle in the body, it varies in size, strength, and endurance from person to person.
You can build it. You can lose it.
But you can’t fake it.
It doesn’t grow from reading a book or watching motivational videos. Don’t get me wrong — books and podcasts are great. But true leadership only develops through adversity, emotion, and admiration.
It’s built by the conversations that challenge you, the mistakes that humble you, and the people who trust you when they don’t have to.
That’s how the muscle strengthens — through tension, not theory.
So when a rough week like this hits, I call on that leadership muscle.
here’s what I do.
I’ll share it with you.
I walk up to my mirror, look in the mirror, and lock eyes with my reflection.
Because that person looking back at me is the one who got me here. That person has been through storms, setbacks, and seasons.
Yes we can surround ourselves with the best people we know but at the end of the day you are stuck with the person in the mirror.
And yet… here we are.
Still standing.
Still showing up.
Not titles.
Not recognition.
No achievement.
I tell myself:
You’re still here.
You’re still showing up.
Let’s move on.
:take a breath:
Now, let’s go have us a day.
💪
#fortheloveofthegame
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